(From
beginnertriathlete.com)
•you have plenty of water bottles, safety pins, and t-shirts
•you have trouble keeping lunch under 2000 calories.
•you usually wake up at 4:00 in the morning but do not get to work until way after 9:00 am
Corollary: You think that running at 4:00 AM is normal
•you have a $4000 bike strapped on top of your $2000 car
•you have no trouble pushing a day's caloric intake to over 8000 calories.
•your area needs rain but you're mad when it does cause it screws up your run and bike schedule; actually, you might be mad, but you still go out for your ride or your run in the rain.
•you're always wet - either sweat, pool water, sea water, shower water, bath water or its raining and you're running/cycling
•your bed-time reading on your night stand consists of a pile of: bike catalogs, running catalogs, triathlon catalogs, InsideTri, Triathlete, USMA Swim, etc.
•you haven't bought work clothes in two years, yet you own bike shorts made by every manufacturer under the sun and can recite the merits of CoolMax, Supplex, etc. in your sleep
Corollary: you have more workout clothes than regular clothes
•your car has at least one empty energy bar wrapper and two sets of work out clothes
•you leave your apartment or house in the morning with your swim bag on one arm, bike on one shoulder, a change of clothes in another bag, and your running stuff in another bag in case you can get away at lunch for a workout
Corollary: you look like a pack mule wherever you go
Corollary: you have to make multiple trips to the car to get all your stuff and you're just going to work
•you can't decide what race T-shirt to wear to your next race
•you no longer take vacations but weekend triathlon junkets
•the one "suit" you own has a QR on the chest
•when you have sex, you wear a HRM and measure your recovery time after
•when you breathe hard during sex, you are faking it
•your kitchen cupboards are organized into "protein," "carbs" and "etc."
•your breakfast consists of so many bagels that the bagel guy hands you a freezer bag with your order
•you're tempted to do your long rides in a speedo so that you don't have a stupid tan for your next race
•your bath towel is never dry
•you bring bottled water to a party so that you're properly hydrated for the next morning's long run
Corollary: everyone else at the party also brought their own bottled water because you don't have a social life outside of triathlon. Also, and they all showed up by 7 pm and left by 10 pm
•your company announces mandatory unpaid shutdown days - every other Friday throughout the summer - in order to cut costs and stay in business, and your response is "Great - now I can do two long workouts on the weekends and still have an easy day."
•you buy a separate dresser for all your race t-shirts and workout gear
Corollary: You have a separate drawer for the gear for each sport
•your 8 year old comes home with the school record for the mile and says, he took it out in a nice pace he could hold.....everyone else died
•you shave your legs – not because it looks nice, but because if you fall on your bike and get road rash, it'll be so much easier to deal with if you have no hair on your legs
•your co-workers catch you with a 'King Sized' meal deal from Burger King, and you can smile and tell them that you will have no problem working this off on the way home
•you started the day with a protein shake, had a scone and latte after swimming and commuting, then headed out for coffee with the coworkers and had a bagel and cream cheese
•you wear your bathing suit under your work clothes to make a fast transition from work to swim on your lunch hour
•your spouse wants dinner out and a movie, so you agree, but fall asleep during the previews
•you show up at the neighborhood pool on your bike in a speedo and embarrass your teenage daughters
•you've spent more on bikes in the last 10 years than you have on clothes for the past 50
•somebody hands you a cup of water and you have to restrain yourself from pouring it on your head
•you forget that talking about daily LSD [Long Slow Distance] and speed weirds some people out
•you come into the office every morning and check BeginnerTriathlete before you check your email
•you feel like you took the day off because all you did was swim 3000 yards
•you feel like a slug because you worked out yesterday morning and are planning an afternoon workout today and its been more that 24 hours since you exercised (and that is your rest day)
•10 miles on your bike is a warm-up
•putting in less than 90 minutes doesn't feel like much of a workout
•you have more tri-related shoes than all other shoes combined (e.g. 2 sets of cycling shoes, 2 sets of swimming/transition flops, hiking boots, aquatic "running/hikers," aqua "socks" and waterproof sandals
•you have more athletic socks than dress socks
•you have more workout shorts than casual shorts
•you have more wicking shirts than dress shirts
•you get more excited seeing a red number next to the "new article" section in BT than reaching your cut-throat deadline at work
•people see your tube of Bodyglide fall out of your workout bag and assume you're a pervert!
•if you take 3 or more showers in a day
Corollary: you have five types of shampoo in your gym bag 1) deep-cleaning for removing saltwater and sweat.; 2) chlorine-removing; 3) moisturizing for when my hair gets too dry; 4) everyday cleaning so you don’t over clean and 5) anti-dandruff because you’ve washed it too much and might get flakes
Corollary: you have 3 types of conditioner: 1) spray in/leave in when showering at the gym 2) detangler for the shower; 3) once-a-week deep moisturizing because your hair is horribly abused
Corollary: you have shower soap that removes chlorine from your skin as well as regular smell-good soap
Corollary: you have face lotion, and two types of body lotion
•you see a hot guy/girl riding a bike and the first thing you notice is the bike
•your co-workers have commented you're in a better mood if you've been swimming before work
•you make sure you, your spouse and the kids get the right carb/protien/fat balance for all meals because you are going to spend the 3 days at Disneyland and you don't want anyone tired and cranky
•you spend an hour on the treadmill at the hotel even though you just spent 14 hours chasing kids around Disneyland
•you take your running shoes with you every time you leave town... even if it's just for a day
•you're more excited to get the latest Road Runner/Nasbar/REI catalog than a Nordstroms catalog
•you see a Debeers commercial and hear "a diamond lasts forever" and think yeah... so does a tri-bike... and i wouldn't lose it
•you're disappointed when you open a b-day, anniversary, x-mas present and see jewelery... how many HRM pictures do you HAVE to leave around the house for him to get a clue?
•you've given up your love of shoe shopping in favor of the "tri-bike fund"
•a friend asks you to meet them at Starbucks for coffee and you have to think, "Where does this fit with today's training?"
•your friends make you go with them to buy running shoes because you know what to look for
•you change your clothes before you leave your house because you may just stop and test ride a bike while you're out grocery shopping
•every time you look at a bike you take a step back and admire the geometry
•you register for your wedding at trisports.com
•you keep a gear shopping list next to the grocery shopping list
•next year’s race entry fees are at the top of your x-mas list for Santa
•you are standing outside the gym at 5:00AM and are mad because they can't open it 5 min. early
•you swim in a pool with your wetsuit on and don't think anything of it
•your eBay watch list has nothing but tri stuff on it
•your significant other regularly complains that you smell like chlorine
•you regularly convince your friends to take a look at your training logs in hopes they will want to tri, too
•you've continued cutting inches off your hair until it's no longer than 2 inches anywhere because messing with your hair cuts into your training time
•you have a jar of peanut butter at work
•eating only 3 meals a day makes you feel like you're being starved
•you actually research whether it's okay to exercise when you're sick (btw - above the neck is ok, symptoms below the neck is not)
•you can justify a $90 pair of running shoes and $40 for a bathing suit but not $10 for a new cd
•holidays are no longer fun because you're going to drink all day but because of the race you've got scheduled for that morning
•arranging your workout schedule is the biggest brain teaser you've dealt with in years
•you compete with other people to see whose heart rate is lower
•you know the best way to clean dried-up Gu off of a wood, tile or linoleum floor (btw, scrape the bulk of it off with a knife, almost boiling water and a paper towel will do the rest)
•you get excited when someone replies to your BT post
•a friend asks you to workout with them or take an aerobics class and you wonder how it will help your tri training
•the only times you leave your office is to a) refill your water bottle or b) pee all the time from drinking so much water
•people stop talking to you because ALL you talk about is triathlons
•you think that people who just bike, just run, or just swim are wusses
•you have goggles in your car, your suitcase, your briefcase, your swim bag …
•you realize that puking is a badge of honor
•someone sees you headed to the gym and says "I thought you went this morning" and you reply "Well, that was only the first workout."
•you tell a friend "I didn't do much this weekend -- just a 20 mile bike ride and a 6 mile run."
Corollary: The ridiculousness of this statement only hits you when your friend says that working out for 4 hours cannot be defined as "nothing much."
•you felt cool the day after a race walking around with black numbers on your body.
•you have looked at the profiles for the bike and run sections of IM events just to picture the hills in your head
•when you’re on car trips, you think to yourself how great a bike course this could be. (If you drive by water you REALLY start thinking)
•you know how to qualify for Kona (in theory, of course)
•you dread the new year because you will have to wait for every piece of equipment at the gym
•you have worked out 7 times in the last 4 days
•your inbox at work has every morning 40 new emails, 35 of them posts from the forums, and the rest, stupid stuff from the job
•you have race schedules and a picture of the guy carrying his bike at Kona posted in your cubicle
•you’re bummed that New Year's Day also means your annual training totals just reset to zero
•you bring running shoes & goggles to the beach in the summer and get in a good run and swim while everyone else is tanning themselves
•you have to do laundry not because you are out of work clothes, but because you are out of workout clothes
•you have three 32 oz. containers on your desk so you don't have to keep getting up to go to the water cooler
•the pencil holder on your desk is an empty Gatorade mix can (one of those orange ones that looks like a Gatorade cooler)
•when grocery shopping you spend all you time looking at the nutrition labels
•you don't mind spending 2 hours shoveling snow because it gives you a good upper body workout
Corollary: you wear a HRM while you’re shoveling
Corollary: you know what HRM stands for
•you just had sinus surgery yesterday and are already asking your Dr when you can get back in the pool
•you’re willing to wear dirty workout clothes because you’re afraid it won't be done by the time you need it
•you spend the first half of your lunch hour reading BT threads and the second half kicking yourself for not getting to the gym over lunch hour
•you’re kicking around the idea of starting a 12 step recovery group for triathletes
•you’re finding new and different ways to simulate a bike workout because there's 15 inches on snow on the ground
•your definition of a "quickie" is a short 45 min run squeezed into your lunch hour
•you get off the highway 20 miles before your exit so you can drive on the back roads to scout out a new bike route
•you prepare your work clothes and time yourself when dressing in order to shorten your transitions
•the guy at the GNC store knows you by name and knows you are there to pick up just a couple of dozen of gels
•your significant other complains that you smell like chlorine and you have to take one more shower to get rid of it
•your wallpaper and your screen saver are triathlon related
•you fill up and run the dishwasher just to clean up a few water bottles
•you find yourself doing your favorite stretches at the supermarket checkout
•you are buying 2 cases of water and only 1 six pack of beer at this same supermarket checkout
•you overtake a whole spare closet with your workout gear
•you overtake the garage with biking gear and running shoes
•when you come home, instead of "How are you?," your loved ones greet you with, "Are you gonna work out now?"
•you have more t-shirts than a South Florida gift shop
•you have 40 pairs of running socks, but can never seem to find the one or two pair that you really like
•you have a semi permanent tattoo of a chain ring on your left leg that is made in the spring and fades in the winter
•you now ask for cash for Christmas
•you are plan your vacations around your race schedule
•your family misses you
•you have 3 pair of swim goggles hanging from your rear view mirror
•your car smells like a locker room
•you actually relocate to a new apartment in a neighborhood that is one block from the pool you swim in and a few blocks from the park you run in
•your pulmonary specialist tells you not to run when it's below 40F, but you go at 31F because it's "close enough"
•you've lost 16lbs in the two months you've been training
•you are driving a carpool and your child "warns" the other young passengers not to "mess with things in the way back because they belong to my mommy who is does triathlons."
•you catch yourself practicing your swimming stroke when you’re in the john
•you work out before work, dress in the car on the way to work, and undress in the car on the way home so you can work out after work
•you wear your running gear under your clothes to make this transition easier
•you start looking at designer colored running gear to wear TO work, to make the transition still easier yet
•your students ask you if you've considered taking Ritalin
•when a guest speaker asks your health class if they've ever heard of anyone being addicted to exercise, fully half of the class points at you...every class...in three periods
•your rest day means you only ran 6 miles, no biking, and no aerobics...well, maybe a few crunches
•your significant other wants to see a movie and you suggest to kill two birds with one stone, you run to the movie and back for a nice six miler
•you wake up to snow and think "Sweet! I've never run in snow before!" and drag your significant other out of bed for a snow run
•you have at least one Gu and two race flyers in your purse.
•you invest in waterproof lipstick because, despite taunts from the men on the BT forums, you plan to put your race pictures in your Christmas card and you never know where the photographer will be
•you spent the last hour compiling this list!
